Movie Review - Drive

"Wanna tooth-pick?"

Yesterday, I decided on a whim to go see a movie; which one was yet to be determined. The contenders were "Contagion," "Straw Dogs," and "Drive." Here, in short, is the case for each as it was in my head.

"Contagion is killing the box office, has Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jude Law. It seems dystopic and paranoid and relevant."

"Straw Dogs. Alexander Skarsgard. Great actor, stuck in crappy things. Maybe not this time?"

"Drive has Carey Mulligan who is the most precious thing ever. I've liked Ryan Gosling since his 'Young Hercules' days, but The Notebook kind of ruined him for me. But reviews have been glowing."

Ultimately I asked my movie critic friend, who informed me that 'Contagion' just makes you want to wash your hands, and that 'Drive' was my best choice. Trusting him, I went to the theater immediately.

I was not disappointed. I'll try to summarize without giving away spoilers.

Ryan Gosling is an unnamed stunt driver/mechanic by day and getaway driver by night. He leads a relatively simple life however, seemingly without friends, family, or frivolity. He speaks seldom, and gets to the point when he does. All this changes when he meets Irene (Carey Mulligan) and her son Benicio. The two share an instant attraction and soon begin seeing each other - though this appears to mean hanging out with her son and driving around at night. Everything is going great, until Irene gets a call that her husband Standard is getting out of prison. From here, the movie abruptly shifts gears (see what I did there?) into an intense, action-packed thriller that left me on the edge of my seat until the last second. Without giving too much away, I'll tell you that Standard needs to pay back some thugs with Ryan Gosling and Christina Hendricks' help, but things are much more complicated than they seem.

Above all, Gosling really impressed me. Blew me away, actually. As I said earlier, The Notebook ruined him for me. Not because he was bad in that movie - he wasn't. That movie is just emotional pornography that makes me really angry. The only reason I sill like Rachel McAdams is because, well, a) have you SEEN HER and b) she's been in several diverse movies I really enjoy and showcased a reasonably wide range.

Anyway, back to him. For the first part of the movie, he channels this... boyishness... that was incredibly endearing. I'm not talking about the Seth Rogen Hollywood man-child bull that we've been force-fed the last several years; there's nothing immature here. But somehow, despite his apparently dark past and less-than-legal job, he maintains this innocence that allows him to connect deeply with a child. Like I said, super endearing. And then, almost without warning, he's curb-stomping the bejeezus out of some hit man. He goes from zero to sixty (see what I did there?) in no time at all - yet it's totally believable. It's easy to imagine him as a guy with a really shady past who did everything he could to escape it, and is now living his life trying to atone/cope/forget. Quite simply, he's amazing and I cannot get over it.

Carey Mulligan is engaging as well. I mean, how can you not be brought in by her big eyes and huge dimples? But she's not just this waif-like little pixie. She's totally believable as a (basically) single mom who got knocked up young but is making the best of her life. 

You've also got Bryan Cranston (who has officially moved in my mind from "Hal from Malcolm in the Middle" to "Walt from Breaking Bad. I am totally OK with this). He plays this strange kind of hybrid of the two characters, who is friendly like Hal but criminal like Walt. He's sort of the father figure to Gosling. 

What else? Oh. I liked that when Standard got out of prison, he wasn't this like hardened criminal, nor was he some kind of wife-beater. He seemed like a pretty genuinely nice guy who wanted to do better. And I like that there was tension between him and Gosling without it being really obvious and in our faces. It was pretty subtle. Which is always better.

I hated the villain, Nino, but then again I was supposed to. But he was loud and gross and foul and it was never not jarring. There was something... big... about him. And if you don't know what that means, watch the episode of The O.C. where Summer gets a replacement-Seth while he is dating Anna. Or, alternatively, watch almost any Jim Carrey movie.

The soundtrack was also jarring. It was LOUD. And I don't know why it was so 80s. I really don't. I know there must have been a reason, because the movie's font is equally 80s. But I don't know the reason. Someone explain this to me. 

Neither of those are really complaints, they were just parts that I found less enjoyable than the rest of the movie. 

Snap Judgement: See this movie. See it now. There's amazing acting from multiple sources. There's a great cast, an engaging plot with an emotional core, and some sweet action. Be forewarned: there's definitely language, and gore, and some boobage. So if you can't handle those things, go see Lion King in 3D [SIDEBAR DON'T SEE LION KING IN 3D. We need to take a stand against useless 3D and the exploitation of our childhoods just to make a quick buck!]. 

Movie Review - Our Idiot Brother

First off, I have to give a shout-out to my friend Jordan. I probably see 75% of all movies with him. For a while, we were seeing really great ones like Black Swan and The Fighter. And then somehow (OK, because of me) we started seeing movies that are just decent (Kung Fu Panda II or The Adjustment Bureau). So, thanks dude, for putting up with that.

Secondly, I mostly like every movie I see, at least when I see it. It normally takes me a good while to decompress and analyze and come to a verdict. Which explains why all my movie reviews are so late as to be basically useless. But anyway, I'm trying to speed that process up.

Our Idiot Brother focuses on Paul Rudd, who despite the title, is not what I would call an idiot, so much as intentionally naive. He sells pot to a cop, but I'd call it entrapment. And he was trying to help a friend. But anyway, after a stint in prison, Paul Rudd is released to the general public. But because his bitchy ex-girlfriend is a bitch, she kicks him out. Poor Paul Rudd is then forced to rely on the charity of his drunk mother, depressed sister, uptight sister, and slutty sister. Hilarity should ensue at this point.

Except that it doesn't really. I was expecting Paul Rudd to be this like Serendipitous Fairy who stumbles through peoples' messed up lives and makes them better. Like Elf. Sure, this trope has been done to death, but hey it works.

Instead, the movie goes surprisingly dark. Rather than Depressed Sister being stuck in a rut with a neglectful husband, she's actually being cheated on and apparently having her hotness and individuality sucked out by his Dark British Powers. Slutty Sister cheats on her hipster lawyer girlfriend and gets pregnant [Oh by the way, spoilers]. And Uptight Sister crosses ethical boundaries to advance her job, which she loses. All of this gets blamed on Paul Rudd, who finally snaps and reveals that he's not an idiot, he wants to enjoy his life and family.

Luckily, this is a comedy, so Slutty Sister gets back with Rashida Jones [BTW how do you pronounce that? Is it Rash-eeee-da, or Rash-ih-duh, or what? No one can tell me], Uptight Sister realizes her neighbor is her Twue Wuv, and Depressed Sister takes her life into her own hands and is Miss Independent, whoo. So everyone loves Paul Rudd and everyone's life is better because of him. Just like Elf.

I suppose I admire the attempt to break the traditional, predictable mold, but I really wish they hadn't. If Depressed Sister's husband had just been like, career obsessed, maybe Paul Rudd could have like set them up on a sexy date that backfires miserably but still results in nookie. Or like Slutty Sister could have nearly cheated but was interrupted by Paul Rudd, causing her to confess to Hipster Lawyer Rashihduh Jones who is pissed but ultimately forgives her, and they have a lesbian wedding. Or maybe Uptight Sister could have nearly exploited Paul Rudd and her journalistic integrity (which apparently is very important to Vanity Fair?), but realizes she can't do that to Paul Rudd, the woman the story was about, or herself, and quits her demanding job in a huff of righteous fury and founds her own magazine with Neighbor Boy/Aspiring Writer.

Are you guys tracking with me? Like, there are lighter ways to get an emotional payoff here. You don't HAVE to go the Fires of Mordor just to get back to the Shire. Maybe going to Moria is enough sometimes. At least in a comedy.

Other than that, the movie was good. Elizabeth Banks should ALWAYS be a brunette and never a sex freak. Zooey Deschanel should NEVER be a bisexual or use profanity, but she's always gorgeous so whatevs. Paul Rudd should NEVER have long hair or a nasty beard, but he was still the best part of this movie, much like every movie he's in except Monsters vs. Aliens where he's a huge douche. Rasheeda Jones is adorable and hot at the same time, even when wearing plaid, jorts, and suspenders.

Snap Judgment - Wait to Redbox it, then see it with friends and maybe a bottle of wine.

Movie Review - Cowboys & Aliens

There are a few things in this life that I trust explicitly. The Bible. My dad. And anything by anyone associated with J.J. Abrams. So when I heard about 'Cowboys & Aliens' - written by LOST co-creator Damon Lindelof along with Alex Kurtzman and Roberto Orci (co-creators of Fringe) - I was beyond excited despite the perhaps silly-sounding premise. DID I MENTION THAT THEY WROTE STAR TREK??? Furthermore, the director - Jon Favreau - directed Iron Man and Elf. So yeah. 

Other key factors in my decision to see this movie: Daniel Craig. Um duh. Olivia Wilde. Double duh. Harrison Ford. And Sam Rockwell!!! The main character/only character in 'Moon,' which is an absolutely amazing movie directed by Duncan Jones aka DAVID BOWIE'S SON. Also - COWBOYS. And ALIENS BLOWING CRAP UP. C'mon people, this is a no-brainer.

Of course, with such high expectations, it's easy for a film to disappoint. So was that the case with C&A? 

Nope.

If anything, it was better than expected. Based on the trailers, I kind of thought Olivia Wilde was only there to be boobs. But she wasn't! I'm not going to say she was a complicated character, but she was interesting, engaging, and integral to the plot. I also was expecting it to have Michael Baysian levels of explosions, but I was wrong on that count too - thank God. 

Instead, I was treated to a well thought out movie with very interesting characters. From the very beginning of the film, it's apparent that there's a lot of backstory here. You've got a gun-wielding preacher, a doctor who wants to run a bar, a dying town propped up by a cattle mogul/army veteran with a weak, spoiled son. You've also got a father who is missing in action, and oh yeah - a $1000 bounty on Daniel Craig - who, it just happens, can't remember who he is or why he has a crazy gauntlet stuck on his wrist.

In any other western, Craig would be the stranger who shows up to the dying town, earns the respect of the humble townsfolk by standing up to the corrupt cattle boss, and then defended his new home from the small army of bandits just outside town. But instead there are alien abductions, apache magic, monsters, and mining. And somehow it all works. 

Olivia Wilde and Daniel Craig have pretty good chemistry. Ordinarily this would be the aspect of the movie I was most excited about. However, I found the budding friendship between Craig and Ford to be just as satisfying. In fact, I would say Harrison Ford's journey throughout the movie is perhaps the film's strongest part. 

To be sure, the movie was funny, action-packed, interesting, and surprisingly heart-warming at times. It was very well-rounded. It wasn't deep or intellectual, but it wasn't empty either. In short, it was a perfect summer movie, and I definitely recommend it.

Movie Review - The Adjustment Bureau

This past weekend, I went to see a movie. That movie was called The Adjustment Bureau. The Adjustment Bureau starred Matt Damon, Emily Blunt, and that guy from Mad Men. It was good.
OK, so not exactly a stellar post on my part. For some reason, I've just been feeling really drained lately. You know, those first two and a half months of unemployment, they're really not that bad. Sure, you're cooped up all day. Sure, you have little to no interaction with other human beings. Sure, sunlight is a foreign concept. But all that boredom really makes you think. Makes you seek an outlet for your thoughts, your creativity, your acerbic blog posts.
But around the time that third month hits, things really start to suck. The old bank account is dry, so say goodbye to lunches, movies, and aimless car rides. Rejection e-mails fill your account. You begin to question all your plans, make compromises, make new plans, compromise them, and ultimately get stuck in a bit of a loop. TV no longer holds much allure, and you can't muster the energy to flip pages of a new book series that is soon to be a new show on HBO.
At least, that's what it's been like for me. It's like I've gone dry. I have all these thoughts in my head - TV pilots, comic books, epic novel trilogies, blog posts - but when it comes time to write them... nothing. It. Sucks. So forgive me for that crappy review. Here, I will try again.
So, The Adjustment Bureau is the story of 
Matt Damon
David... something... and...Emily Blunt's character. He's running for Senator, she's a dancer. They make out in the bathroom, and their hearts melt. Months later, they meet on a bus on accident (aka because an Adjuster fell asleep on the job), and their hearts flutter anew. At this, The A.B. flips out because The Plan has been messed up. So they pull David aside and are like "Hey dude, sorry but you can date whoever the crap you want, just not her, it will ruin The Plan your life. Don't make us hurt you."
David reluctantly agrees, but pines for... Emily Blunt... for the next several years, and she does the same. Then by chance, they meet again, they Screw The Rules, they are happy, and then ultimately David is scared out of staying with her. Apparently if he does, he won't be president and she won't be the world's greatest dancer.
But in the end, David can't let her marry her old boyfriend, and so with some help from Harry, his Adjuster, David and 
Emily
 Elise (I caved and looked it up) prove that the power of love is stronger than anything - even The Chairman's plan.
Overall, I thought this was a pretty solid movie. Damon and Blunt have really solid chemistry (which helped make up for the whole "I met you yesterday but I love you!" thing). There's definitely some nuance, since there aren't exactly "bad guys" to speak of, so much as well-intentioned, powerful people who kind of miss the trees because of the forest (or however that goes). It also raises some questions of Free Will vs. Predestination and "Is God (spoiler alert) omniscient?"
Unfortunately, the movie plays it pretty safe. I mean, if I found out that there were dudes who could be behind any door, freeze time, and subtly alter the way you think... I might freak out a bit. I might seriously question... every decision I'd ever made. I might... I don't know, jump every time a door opened for a while.
Also, I thought there could have been a lot more twists - for example: we know that The Plan was suddenly changed a few years ago, after like thirty years of having David and Elise "destined" to be together. What if there had been a renegade Angel...err... Adjuster... who changed things for his own nefarious purposes? What if in the time David was without Elise, he had said "Eff this stupid plan!" and watched the world turn to crap because of it? Or what if instead of Love Conquering All, the Bureau had just been like "Ooooookay... you asked for it!" and plunged their lives into unmitigated devastation, rather than a sprained ankle?
This movie was good, don't get me wrong. But it was also safe, and pretty predictable. I enjoyed it, but I think I could have enjoyed it a WHOLE lot more, and that's kind of a shame.

Best Non-2010 Pop Culture I Found in 2010

Hola amigos! Welcome to another edition of A Main Nerd Tellurian Things, your favorite source for potentially-polarizing and largely ramblicious opinions on all things pop culture!  Originally I was going to do a post on my top five movies of the past year, but I have decided to wait until I see True Grit.  From what I’ve heard, it has the potential to rank highly on that list.  So for now, I’ve decided to comment on the best pop culture I found out about this year – sometimes years behind the curve.

Movies

I saw a lot of movies this year.  So there were a lot of contenders for this category.  Donnie Darko very nearly took this spot, but I’m gonna have to give it to Kill Bill.

Now, I don’t claim that this movie (I’m considering the two of them to be a single unit) is perfect.  I definitely think Volume 1 is the stronger, more entertaining of the two.  That being said, Volume 2 had the training scenes with Master Pai Mei, the fight with Elle, and the confrontation with Bill.  I certainly understand when people say the end is anti-climactic – and compared to the House of Blue Leaves sequence, it kind of is – but I think it’s perfect because emotionally it is both more satisfying and more necessary.  Anyway, I think this movie is smart, funny, bad-ass, and somehow also has an emotional core that allows you to relate to and care about most of the characters – even the villains.  I can’t believe I waited so long to see this.

Television

As many movies as I saw this past year, I saw infinitely more television.  Like, for each movie I watched, I watched at least one season of TV.  I am unashamedly addicted to television, and I hope that never changes.  So with this much TV being watched, narrowing down a top pick was… daunting to say the least.  I mean, this was the year I started watching Community, True Blood, Psych, possibly Mad Men (I don’t remember if it was late ’09 or early ’10), and Airbender, among others.  So, for the sake of my sanity, I’ve decided to break up this category into two subsets: Live Action, and Animated.

Live Action: Arrested Development

I saw part of this show when it was on.  Like, half of the episode where Charlize Theron leaves.  And I totally didn’t get the appeal.  I – like the rest of the world – simply wasn’t ready for the unadulterated brilliance of this show.  I love the running gags (especially “Mista Eff,” “FOR BRITISH EYES ONLY!!” and when the Charlie Brown music plays every time George Michael is sad.  Not to mention the chicken impressions.), I love the completely moronic and immoral characters, I love the meta references, and I love Ron Howard.  It’s pure gold, and I’m so glad I got to finally experience it for myself.

Animated: Cowboy Bebop

I’ve already blogged about how much I love this series.  I love the western-in-space premise.  I love the noir elements.  I love the “big plot” (which only consists of about five episodes), and I love the stand-alone episodes.  Which is not normal for an arc-heavy guy like me.  I love the characters.  Ironically, though animated they are more fleshed out than most live-action characters.  They’re flawed, but they’re real.  They’re heroic, but they make big mistakes.  They rarely get along but they’re family.  This show is virtually perfect in my eyes, and I do not regret buying the whole series with my Christmas money.

Music

I love music – a lot – but I’m not really one of those people that “can’t live without it.”  I certainly was, especially during my angsty teenage years, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve really learned the value of silence.  And of becoming more selective of the music I do listen to.  In theory anyway.

I guess my point is that I don’t have a lot of music.  I’ve never filled up my 20 GB iPod, I’m shamed to say.  And I’ve made even less of an effort to hunt for new music – at least until I started this blog.  So there were fewer candidates in this section.  The winner?  Without a doubt, the award goes to Janelle Monae.  I’m obsessed with her.

I love that she is so weird.  Her albums are one long story about an android in the future who falls in love with a human, is hunted by bounty hunters, and who becomes the prophesied savior of robotic kind.  Seriously.  I love her crazy hair, her tuxedo, and her sweet dance moves.  I love that she really truly believes that music can save a life.  And I love her music.  Do yourself a favor and listen to her.

Books

I wish I read more.  So much more.  I recently found a list of speculative fiction, and I think I’m going to make it my mission to read them all.  That being said, I read quite a bit this year, especially this summer.  I started the Sword of Truth series (then bailed six books in because it was pretentious, preachy, and lacking in subtlety).  I read some great Christian literature, including some by CS Lewis and John Piper.  I read some silly zombie books and started the Interview With a Vampire series.  But ultimately my favorite book I read this year was The Hunger Games. A story of a future America devastated by war and transformed into twelve districts run by a wealthy and cruel capital, 24 teenagers from across the districts are chosen to compete in a reality TV fight to the death, designed to remind the districts that the capital is boss.  The protagonist is a strong, resourceful, jaded and deeply scarred girl named Katniss, who is among the most BAMF main characters I’ve ever read.  I love the idea and the execution, so much that I read the first book in about 5 hours.  I will probably go read number two after I post this.

Comics

It was a solid year in comics.  Some decent events, some great new properties blowing up, and just generally solid direction for most of what I’m reading.  Without a doubt my favorite new comic has been Morning Glories, but this year I also discovered The Unwritten.  I’ve already written a fairly incoherent post about it, so I won’t go into too much detail, but allow me to say this: it has me intrigued.  Like a lot.  It has managed to creep me out, keep me guessing, and vastly entertain me.  An essay on the nature of story, and so much more, I highly recommend this series for any fan of great classic fiction (and/or comics).

Aaaaaand that’s it for that.  I’m looking forward to this year in pop culture, pretty much across the board.  Hopefully I’ll be here to vomit my opinions of it into the aether.

Coming soon: My top five movies of 2010, and – I’m really excited about this – a series of posts by guest authors.  I haven’t gotten all the details ironed out, but expect to see some of my good friends sharing their thoughts here, and maybe,maybe, seeing mine on some other blogs.  I’ll let you know as soon as I do.

Movie Review - The Social Network

If there was one movie of 2010 I heard the most about, one movie I heard I would absolutely love, one movie I heard would define our generation, it was The Social Network. For whatever reason, I resisted seeing it in theaters. I’m sure there were good reasons, but mainly I think it was stubbornness. That, and my secret idealizing of Amish culture and desire to join them (you think I’m kidding but I’m not).

It comes down to the fact that I kind of hate Facebook. I think it’s made us feel more important than we are, that every stray thought running through our heads needs to be shared. I think it’s made us redefine how we feel validated. Rather than finding worth in the depth of our friendships, we now desire breadth. We want hundreds if not thousands of “friends,” despite not really knowing them or interacting with them. And when I see people on Facebook finding out that they literally spend a MONTH’s worth of time on that website, it makes me sick. And ultimately, I hate Facebook because I don’t have the strength of will to delete it, or just get on occasionally.

So anyway for all twelve of you who haven’t seen it, The Social Network is the story of Mark Zuckerberg – creator of Facebook and pioneer of redefining privacy. He’s a regular student at Harvard, who is an asshole, as his girlfriend tells him when she breaks up with him. He wants to be in a prestigious fraternity, but isn’t, so he hacks the Greek networks, steals the members’ pictures, and builds a website to rank their hotness. Because objectifying women is fun! This gets the attention of some rich frat guys who want him to make a proto-Facebook for Harvard only. Instead he builds his own, using his friend Eduardo (who is as popular as Mark wants to be) to finance him. Along the way he meets the creator of Napster, who is flashy and charismatic and convinces him to go bigger. He parties in California using Wardo’s money, who gets pissed. Mark and Napster edge Wardo out. Wardo and the popular frat guys sue. They win big money. The end.

So what did I think?

I

Hated

It

Zuckerberg is just an asshole. To everyone. But he wears this pathetic little sad face the WHOLE movie, like I’m supposed to feel sorry for him. Like “Oh, the poor guy was seduced by money and women and look what he became!” Um no. The first scene of the movie establishes that he’s an epic douche. And yet I still felt like the movie wanted me to like him. And that just isn’t fun. I can watch a movie or read a book where the protagonist is a douche. Like House. I can even watch a movie or read a book where the protagonist is a bad guy. But it needs to acknowledge that fact and allow me to acknowledge it too. And I really didn’t get that from TSN. It’s just hard to watch a movie where you literally like every character more than the main character.

I mean, Wardo was awesome. He was a good friend and a solid business man. True, Facebook might not have gotten as big as fast with him at the helm, but it probably would be a lot classier and way less obnoxious. And you can see that even though he’s suing Mark, it tears him up to do so, that he regrets the steps that brought him to this place.

The Winklevoss twins are awesome. They don’t immediately sue Zuckerberg, because they are gentlemen of Harvard, and believe that it all can be settled civilly.

Rashida Jones is awesome, despite her weird flirting with Mark that I didn’t approve of.

The only other character that sucked as bad was Justin Timberlake, but at least I knew it was OK to hate him. And I did.

So my point in this, movie, is that you need to let me hate people when they’re douches. Don’t go trying to make me sympathize with him because of his dopey sad face. UGH.

Anyway, the music was absolutely amazing. Like, fantastic. The cinematography was great, and overall it was a well-done movie. It just wasn’t any fun, at all.

So yeah. This movie was so ridiculously over-hyped. My brother stopped watching halfway through because it was so boring. I had to take a break for cake just to feel better.

And if this movie defines my generation, I’m jumping in front of a bus.

Movie Review - The Fighter

I know most of you probably want to see a Glee post, since those have been the most viewed posts on this blog. But it’s my blog, and I don’t feel like it. So nyah. But in the interest of whoring for your love respecting my audience, here is a blurb.

Glee is exploitative. It ropes you in with catchy pop songs, retro hits, and ripoffs“homages” to classic movie/music video scenes. The characters are either incredibly inconsistent, unlikable, or boring – or some combination thereof. It’s really just a giant wank-fest that has its hooks in you and is living off the heart it showed early on. The post-Superbowl episode was incredibly boring, predictable, and lazy, and I’m done watching it.

So there. Now onto something I actually enjoyed.

The Fighter is the story of “Irish” Micky Ward, a stepping stone boxer who is capable of true greatness but is hindered by his truly atrocious white trash family. He worships his older brother Dicky (I know, isn’t that cute? ), who was once a decent boxer who may or may not have knocked out Sugar Ray Leonard but now is a coke-head mixed up with Cambodians. Emotionally, Micky is somewhat crippled from his shrieking shrew of a mother Vicky (OK not really her name is Alice) who irrationally prefers Dicky to her only other son, as well as by his ex-wife who is also quite the harridan. But when Dicky is sent to prison, Micky does the unthinkable and ditches his anchor family and gets a real manager and a real trainer who get him real (read: fair) fights, and he makes his way all the way to the top. Oh yeah and he dates Amy Adams, who is slightly less white trash on account of living in a decent house and having gone to college (although she dropped out due to too much drinking), and is now a bartender.

(For the record, I’m sorry if my… generous… usage of the term “white trash” offends anybody, but in my opinion it’s the only term that fits a family where the mom throws every pot and pan in the kitchen at her husband Ricky’s head (OK his name is George and I promise I’m done) – for having her son’s best interests at heart – or where the mom crams herself and her SEVEN 80s-haired daughters into a small car so they can scream at and beat the crap out of “uppity” Amy Adams.)

So anyway, Dicky (Christian Bale) goes to prison and gets clean. Amy Adams motivates Micky, but in the process becomes a bit like his family (“It’s them or me,” “They this and they that,” etc etc) before making peace. Micky fights in London. And they all lived happily ever after.

Let’s get to the actual review of this shindig, eh? Well for one, the acting was incredible. I’m not really one to notice normally (but I’m trying real hard to improve!), but this was really the biggest strength of the movie. And while Marky Mark did a great job as the main character, the real stars were Christian Bale and Amy Adams. Bale’s performance of Dicky was nothing short of masterful. God knows how much weight he had to lose to look like a washed up coke-head. He oscillated between High Dicky – who was incredibly hyperactive, largely incoherent, and occasionally funny – and Low Dicky – who was jittery, nervous, and depressed. He was prideful, he was stupid, he was immoral. He was a lot of things, and I found his performance to be not only excellent, but also very powerful. In fact, I would say that I was more invested inhis story by the end than in Micky’s.

Similarly, Amy Adams does a phenomenal job. She maintains that atrocious Boston accent throughout the film. She’s kind of pushy, but mostly in a good way. She’s definitely jaded. She’s sassy and witty – always a plus. And she has this sort of “regular girl sexy” thing going on rather than “airbrushed model sexy,” which is refreshing. I know that doesn’t really have much to do with acting, but it adds to the character in a positive way. The thing that most struck me about the character is how vastly different she is to pretty much everything else Amy Adams has done.

The fight scenes were less than stellar in my opinion, but then again, they’re not really the point. I would gladly see fewer scenes of guys attacking each other if it meant more scenes of Dicky eschewing his crack-head friends and resolving to stay clean – for his own sake and that of his son and brother. Or more scenes of Micky torn between his mother and his girlfriend, and finally managing to speak for himself.

Overall, this is a great movie. I support its nomination as Best Picture, though I don’t expect it to win (I’m putting my money on The King’s Speech and hanging my hopes on Inception). I would whole-heartedly support Amy Adams winning Best Supporting Actress (over Helena Bonham Carter, but don’t make me choose between her and Hailee Steinfeld), and Christian Bale most definitely deserves Best Supporting Actor. The music was not overly memorable, and the cinematography was great, but nothing to write home about. It was a great movie with a great plot and some really amazing actors. Quick, see it before it leaves the theaters!

Movie Review - The King's Speech

I’m gonna start this post off by saying that it might be lackluster. You can attribute your inevitable disappointment to a number of factors, including but not limited to: Two Months of Unemployment Ennui, distraction, and the simple fact that this movie was too good to criticize.

So, The King’s Speech is the story of George VI, back when he was just Prince Albert, Duke of York, who suffered from a stuttering problem. In previous years, this perhaps would not have been incredibly important, but in the Age of Radio (and later film), it is quite significant. The poor bastard is forced to make speech after speech as the situation in Europe heats up toward the inevitable Second World War, and as his brother chooses love over country. So, he goes from doctor to doctor (including perhaps a reference to Henry Higgins?), who are all ultimately unable to help His Majesty. Luckily for Bertie, his plucky wife finds Geoffrey Rush (Captain Barbossa) as speech therapist Lionel Logue. Geoffrey Rush is able to make progress with Bertie, and in so doing becomes his friend and confidante. And so, England was saved from awkward pauses and stinted speeches, and was blessed with eloquence forever. The End.

OK so that got unexpectedly trite at the end, and I apologize. I really did like this movie. If I had to summarize it in one word, however, it would be “charming.”

There’s nothing wrong with Charming. Charming is nice. Charming isn’t Preachy like Avatar. It isn’t shockingly Original like Inception. It isn’t Bold like Black Swan. It isn’t Relevant like The Social Network. It isn’t Pure Awesome like True Grit. But Charming is nice. Charming is uncomplicated. Charming has a happy ending and makes you believe in the power of friendship. And you know what? Charming is under-rated.

In this day and age (aaaannnnndddd now The Killers are stuck in my head – this is NOT a complaint), happy endings are looked down upon. I mean, out of my Top Five movies of the year, Inception ended on a question mark, Toy Story – while happy – left me crying, Harry Potter ended in a major death, and True Grit in  - SPOILER ALERT – an amputation and a funeral. Only Scott Pilgrim had a truly happy ending. I mean, what’s wrong with “And they remained friends all their life” as opposed to accidentally stabbing yourself with broken glass and dying in your first performance?

ANYWAY I guess I’m saying it’s refreshing to end on an “Awwww” rather than an “Ewwww” or a “WHAT?!?”

Regarding THIS movie and NOT movies as a whole, I really have to praise the acting. Colin Firth plays sad puppy eyes so well, you can’t help but sympathize and like him. And as you get to know his dad and his brother and his history (evil nanny, anyone?), you begin to pity him all the more. I mean the guy didn’t really have a friend until the undead Australian ship captain speech therapist. That sucks. But he’s also capable of believable anger, fear, humor, and love. He was somewhat understated, but in a VERY good way.

I also thought Helena Bonham Carter was fantastic. It’s refreshing to see her in a normal role – not that she isn’t fantastic in stranger roles as well. I thought she played the supporting wife and perhaps overly formal duchess very well, and many of my favorite scenes included her. I certainly understand her nomination as Best Supporting Actress, although I think her role was too small to justify a win (and I’d have rather seen Mila Kunis get a nom, but that’s a post for another day).

And of course Geoffrey Rush was great. I loved his character.

The story was excellent. It had plenty of dramatic tension. It had humor. It had beautiful locations and beautifully shot scenes. The music was impeccable. The casting was spot-on. It was all-around wonderful.

Minor complaints: I felt like Edward was perhaps made into too much of an ass. I mean, yes, he gave up the throne for an American socialite during a crucial period in England’s history, and was certainly being cuckolded, but he just seemed douchier and wimpier than I think was probably true. I also thought the revelation that Logue was not a doctor came a little late in the game, and was resolved far too quickly. But these are really minor complaints.

Stray Observations: I loved all the Harry Potter alums. I mean, we had Bellatrix Lestrange, Albus Dumbledore, and Peter Pettigrew as a Duchess, a King, and a future Prime Minister respectively. I also really liked the montage of speech therapy. It was a lot of fun.

My prediction is that this is the movie that will win Best Picture. I would rather it go to Inception (let’s reward originality, amazing direction, superb casting, and a big EFF YOU to the whole 3-D and over-reliance on CGI thing), or True Grit, but this film basically screams “ACADEMY AWARD,” and I certainly wouldn’t mind it winning.

2010 in Cinema

Oh 2010, what a year you’ve been.  You contained my best semester, and my worst.  You held my graduation, and my favorite year of camp.  In some regards, I will miss you tremendously.  In others, I’m glad to put you behind me.

But this isn’t a personal blog.  It’s a pop-culture blog, so enough about me.  Let’s get on to my top five movies of the year!

5.   True Grit

So I started writing this post a week ago or so, when it was actually near the New Year (and therefore relevant), but I wanted to wait until I saw True Grit.  And I’m so glad I did.  This spot was previously held by Black Swan which – yes – was absolutely amazing and incredibly well-done.  What it didn’t have was an emotional core I could connect with and characters I legitimately enjoyed.  True Grit, on the other hand, had both of those things.  I loved Mattie Ross and her quest for vengeance, her Wednesday Addams pigtails, and incredibly precise speech patterns.  I loved Cogburn and his uncanny ability to state the obvious.  Matt Damon was cool too.  I wasn’t a big fan of the ending though, despite the classic “ride off into the sunset” thing going on.

But visually, the movie was great.  It was well-shot, and the scenery was impressive.  The music was subtle, but powerful.  Jeff Bridges’ performance was masterful, even if he was hard to understand.  He pulled off the perfect blend of slightly dopey, secretly brilliant, lonely, wounded, and also kind and caring.  Matt Damon definitely grew on me after his kind of pervy douche bag first impression.  And Mattie is straight up the coolest girl ever.  I hope to someday meet a girl this awesome.  So whether you’re a fan of Westerns or not (I’m generally not), go see this movie.

4.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

From a purely fan-boy stand point, this movie would clearly be number one.  In a way it’s almost the exact opposite of Black Swan.  While the one was technically flawless but less emotionally-driven (in the sense of my connection to the characters, not in terms of story-telling), this one was incredibly emotional (for me) and less technically perfect.

That being said, this is almost certainly the only Harry Potter movie I would include in a Top 5 list (maybe even a Top 10).  It is without a doubt the strongest film in the series, despite having whole sections of wandering in the woods and staring hopelessly at each other.  It stays very true to the source material – mostly due to having so much more time to tell the story than previous installations.  But what most impressed me was the emotional core of this one.  The feeling of hopelessness is pervasive, the tensions between the Power Trio are palpable, and overall the tone is perfect.  Visually I also loved the film – especially the animated sequence telling the story of the Peverell brothers.

I anticipate part two with equal parts eagerness and dread.  Eagerness for awesomeness, dread for the end.

3.  Scott Pilgrim

O sweet movie how I love thee.  And when I say “sweet,” I mean sweet like sugar, because that’s what this movie really is.  Let’s be real.  There isn’t a ton of substance.  It’s a classic story of boy meets girl, boy dumps fake high school girlfriend for girl, boy fights girl’s seven evil exes, boy gets girl and they sail off into subspace.  Classic.

But in all seriousness, there is nothing about this movie I don’t love, and that doesn’t make me smile like a big dope.  Highlights include Chris Evans as a skateboarder turned actor, Brandon Routh as a psychic vegan, Michael Cera’s reunion with BlandAnn from Arrested Development, and of course Cho Chang as a desperate ninja/hipster/Catholic school girl.  I love the Zelda music playing in the background, the Mortal Kombat references, Guitar Hero fight, Metric, and everything about it.  This is a movie for our ADD generation, for anyone who grew up playing video games, or anyone that is awesome.

2.  Toy Story 3

I LOVE the original Toy Story.  But I don’t consider it my favorite Pixar movie.  That honor goes to probably the Incredibles, maybe Up.

I can’t STAND Toy Story 2.  I hate Jessie and the stupid coal miner or whatever he is.  The only part of the movie I do like is Emperor Zurg and his relationship with Buzz 2.

So I was skeptical of Toy Story 3.  But it blew me out of the water.  I could instantly tell that this was a movie for me.  For us.  For people who grew up with the original.  There was a darkness to the movie.  Not like The Dark Knight or that kind of darkness, but a sense of loss.  Friends have been lost, sold in garage sales or discarded.  The toys are tired, having fought for relevance for too long.  And this is their last stand.  Then they are taken away to a new home, a false Utopia, and hijinks ensue.

Part of what I love about this movie, other than the above, is that it made me cry.  Both times I saw it.  The ending is PERFECT as far as I’m concerned.  It really brings things full circle, and struck a chord in me.  It was about growing up, letting go of the past without purging it from your life, and about passing the torch.  As a recent college grad, this seems especially applicable to me.

It’s nostalgic without relying too much on that emotion, it’s sweet but not too sweet, it’s more grown up but still fun for kids, it’s funny, it’s interesting, and it’s entertaining.  It was, quite simply, the perfect end to the story.

1.  Inception

It’s no coincidence that this is the only movie on the list that isn’t either a sequel, an adaptation, or a remake.  This movie is original, which is shockingly unique these days.  I heard a statistic recently that over 80% of movies that have come out recently have been one of the above.  I get that making movies is expensive, and a huge risk, and that you want to make something that already has an established fan base but really??  80+% ?!?  That’s… disappointing.  In fact, I heard that the studios didn’t want to take the risk to make this movie, except that Christopher Nolan had kind of earned their trust after Batman.

But seriously, what is there not to love about this movie?  Definitely not the cast, because it’s nothing short of phenomenal.  Leo, Ellen, JGL, Marion Cotillard, Ken Watanabe, Cillian Murphy, and Michael Caine?  Fuggedaboutit.  And who would have thought the biggest BAMF of them all would be SHINZON???  Freaking SHINZON, clone of Captain Jean-Luc Picard.

Definitely not the effects.  That no-gravity fight scene in the hotel?  Very little CGI.  I know, right.  Wires and a rotating set.  And the CGI scenes are awesome too!  Ellen Page rebuilding Paris is one of the more impressive things I’ve seen on the screen to date.  George Lucas and his CGI addiction can suck it.

This movie has a great emotional core too.  At its heart it’s the story of a desperate father doing whatever it takes to get back to the children he can’t be with.  Dom is tortured by the things he has done and seen, but I wouldn’t describe him as angsty or emo (I’m talking to YOU Spider Man!).  There’s also the friendship of Dom and Arthur, the UST between Arthur and Ariadne, and the incredibly complex relationship between Dom and Mal.  Not to mention Cillian Murphy’s twisted emotional journey.

On top of that, there’s great action, intriguing concepts, decent humor and snark, great dialogue and acting, and all-around bad-assery.  If you haven’t seen it yet, pull your head out of your asinine Twilight book or whatever else you’re distracting yourself with, and go watch Inception.  Fool.

And that’s it for the year’s movies.  There were some great movies that simply couldn’t make the Top Five, but I wasn’t about to do a Top Ten, so there.  If I were going to do a Top 10, I probably would have included

6.  Kick Ass

7.  Easy A

8.  Black Swan

9.  The Book of Eli

10.  Alice in Wonderland

But I didn’t, so sorry aforementioned films, you’re just Honorable Mentions in my eyes.

2010 was a strong year, most definitely.  Overall perhaps not as strong as 2009 (I mean, that year had Inglourious Basterds and District 9, Up and Star Trek, so… yeah), but it was certainly close.  And 2011 is looking to be a decent year as well.  Thor, Green Lantern, Cowboys and Aliens (yes I’m excited about it, shut up), Kung Fu Panda 2, The Hangover 2, X-Men, Sherlock Holmes 2, Harry Potter, and YES FINALLY the JUSTIN BIEBER MOVIE!

Movie Review - Black Swan

I guess I should start by saying that this movie is not for everyone.  I definitely get the impression that you will either love it, or HATE it.  I actually came down on the former side, so let’s get to it.

To begin with, Black Swan is the story of Nina, a ballerina who aspires to a leading role.  And while her technique is flawless, she really lacks the soul for anything dramatic.  The sheltered girl still lives with her mother – a former ballerina herself – and sleeps in a pink room filled with stuffed animals.

Finally her chance comes to play White Swan/Black Swan, and she begins to crack under the pressure.  Be warned, hallucinations, drug use, profanity, masturbation, and same-sex escapades ensue, among other things.

Aaaaaand that’s all I’ll tell you about the plot.

So what did I think?  Short answer: I LOVED it.  Absolutely everything about it.  It was terrifying, not so much in a “things jumping out at you making you scream” kind of way (though it has several of those moments), but in a disturbing, haunting way that will stay with you after you’ve left the theater.  It was beautiful.  I mean, Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis aside, it’s beautifully shot, has gorgeous ballet (though thankfully less dancing than I expected), and just a really moving plot.  I never thought I would be so engaged in a movie about Swan Lake.

To go more in depth, I thought that Natalie Portman’s performance was amazing.  She obviously plays cute and innocent really well.  Her portrayal of naive, shy, and repressed Nina is spot-on in my opinion.  And in the flashes she gets of her own dark side, I think she is equally believable.  What’s impressive to me however, is her growth from one to the other.  The transition stages.  Add to that the all-consuming panic she has to show as her mind slowly (although sometimes abruptly) descends into full-tilt madness, and I think she at least deserves an Oscar nomination.

Mila Kunis is equally talented at playing a counter to Natalie’s coquette.  Every bit as graceful on stage, she brings the sense of fun and passion the film really needs.  And while her role is relatively small, and her character somewhat annoying at times, she really brings it, and I totally support her Golden Globe nom (although Oscar might be pushing it).

As far as the ending goes, I think it’s flawless.  Not everything gets answered (like what really happens to Beth – randomly portrayed by Winona Rider).  The sex and drug stuff might offend some, but I think was really crucial in helping Nina find her inner Black Swan, or really just growing up in general.

I don’t know that this was “Best Picture” material, because I haven’t seen many of the other likely contenders, but I certainly think it deserves a nomination.  And I would recommend this movie to anyone not likely to get offended by the “morally questionable content.”

Movie Review - Julie & Julia

It feels very fitting for me to be blogging about this movie, for two reasons.  One, that the movie is about blogging, and two that I just won Best Tasting in a baking contest this evening.  So all in all very apropos – which, incidentally is not a sorority girl “abbrev” for “appropriate.”

Also, I realize that this movie came out a year ago, but I can only review movies I see, when I see them.  And I make no apologies for that!  “Life without compromise” is my new motto!

Anyway, onto the movie.  I remember being vaguely interested when Julie & Julia came out.  After all, I love Amy Adams, and I love cooking.  But I’ve always thought Meryl Streep was somewhat overrated – not for any real reason, but just because.  I’m judgmental, sue me.  Of course, I (obviously) didn’t see the movie until now.  Being a single male is not overly conducive to seeing chick flicks (FACT).  Unless you live life without compromise!

So, if you haven’t seen the movie, it’s about Julie Powell – an aspiring author trapped in a tiny apartment above a pizzeria for the good of her husband’s job.  In an effort to reconnect with her inner author, compete with her important (read: more “successful”) friends, and to finally finish something for once, Julie decides to cook her way through Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking” in a single year.  And blog about it.  While working a full-time job and being married.

It is also the story of Julia Child: moving to Paris for her husband’s job, enrolling in Le Cordon Bleu mostly out of boredom, moving throughout Europe, and ultimately getting published.  The movie manages to expertly tell two stories that are both connected and completely separate.  And I loved it.

Something you should know about me: I love parallelism.  No, really.  Julie & Julia had this in spades.  Both women moved somewhere for their husbands, which led to them pursuing food, changing their lives, and seeking to get published.  It’s neat to see the similarities, as well as the differences.  For example, the movie starts with both women moving – Julie to a crapshack above a pizza joint, Julia to a lavish Parisian home.  I think it was important thematically to show that Julie is not reliving Julia Child’s life, but rather living her own life almost as an homage to Julia.

Beyond parallelism, I (as previously mentioned) love Amy Adams.  Her performance here was as adorable as always.  Her meltdowns are appropriately pathetic, her successes are heart-warming, and yet a bit of the narcissistic bitch peeks through – in a good way.  Her character is not perfect.  She’s flawed.  And Amy Adams does a great job of showing that.

Further, I absolutely adored Meryl Streep’s performance.  Not only did she nail Julia Child’s… characteristic voice, but also conveyed her energy as well as her – to be frank – physical awkwardness.  Plus, the scene where she breaks down over not having children?  Heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.  Meryl, I’m sorry.  I will never doubt your talent again.

But perhaps my favorite thing about the movie was Julia’s relationship with her husband Paul.  I knew I recognized Stanley Tucci from somewhere, but I’m shamed to admit I had to use Wikipedia to remember that he’s in Easy A.  In which he was the dad – my favorite character, and the type of father I aspire to be some day.  The characters are clearly deeply in love, and for once I didn’t cringe at “old people love.”  Instead I found myself “awww”-ing all over the place.  The simple ways in which they loved each other – a book here, a hand squeeze there – was touching.  I actually became considerably more invested in Julia’s relationship to her husband than I was in Julie’s!  And, cynically, kept waiting for some sort of epic marital meltdown that (thankfully) never came.

All in all, I highly recommend this movie.  My  parents love it, and I would have to say they probably fit the target demographic far better than myself.  Older people, especially couples, will love this movie.  As will younger couples, I think.  And also single girls who enjoy cooking.  I realize I am none of those things, and I loved it, so there might just be something for guys too.  So.  Guys.  Rent it.  Watch it with your girlfriends.  Decide to cook something from the book weekly for (or with) your lady.  And melt her heart the way Julia melted butter.

Other random observations:

Jane Lynch as Julia’s sister.  For once she wasn’t a buffoon or caricature!  I love Jane, but it’s often hard (or impossible) to really distinguish her roles from one another.  And while her part in this movie is small, it was nonetheless well-done.

Mary Lynn Rajskub.  You may know her as Chloe from 24 – which, don’t get me started on that show.  FOR ALL OUR SAKES.  But I know her only from this.

The lobster scene was really funny.

Movie Review - Invictus

Yes, I know that this post is so late it’s not relevant.

No, not all my movie reviews are going to be on Clint Eastwood and/or Matt Damon movies.

So, I just finished Invictus, a story set during the early part of Nelson Mandela’s presidency of South Africa – a time of enormous political and social upheaval for the country.  Mandela had to balance an overwhelming majority of vengeful black South Africans against an incredibly powerful minority of scared white South Africans.  He preached a message of forgiveness, of ending the cycle of hate, and of being more than “they” expect you to be – more than you think you can be.  He is a highly inspiring figure to millions of people.

Which makes me wonder, “Where was he in this movie?!?”  Don’t get me wrong, he’s in the movie.  Mostly as a quiet, phenomenally dedicated, wise and compassionate old man.  Freeman plays the role beautifully, masterfully bringing the grace and depth he naturally embodies to Dr. Mandela.  He is given some powerful words on the nature of forgiveness and the impressive power it can have in transforming the world.  But I really expected the movie to be more about him.  While he was certainly fleshed out – especially by his strained relationships with his family – there wasn’t a whole lot of movement in his story.  I expected to see more of the mental and emotional strain leading the country put him under rather than the physical.  I expected to see more policies beyond having the Springboks play rugby with kids, and to see more resistance to those policies.  I expected to see an assassination attempt, especially considered how much of the movie focuses on his bodyguards.  I expected to see a more dramatic confrontation between his daughter, and maybe some reconciliation.  But none of that was really there.  There was mostly just rugby.

Now, I don’t have a problem with rugby.  A good friend of mine played in high school (they went to nationals, no big deal).  I laugh when I see rugby, but that’s only because my gay former roommate found rugby players incredibly attractive.  And I don’t have a problem with sports movies, even if they’re almost all exactly the same.  But I think rugby should have been the backdrop for this story, not the story itself.  It was cool to watch, and Matt Damon played his character well, but I didn’t sign up to watch a Nelson Mandela movie to sit through two hours of rugby.

I think I’m coming off more anti-Invictus than I really am, so let me clarify.  I liked this movie.  The music was well-done.  I love Clint Eastwood’s cinematography personally.  I think it’s beautifully shot and framed.  As I’ve already said, the actors all impressed me immensely, and the story itself isn’t a bad one.  I just wanted more of it.

So, overall, I enjoyed it.  I would recommend it.  I would also preface that there are better Morgan Freeman movies, better Matt Damon movies, and better movies from the year out there.

2009 in Cinema

5.  District 9

If you know me at all, you know that I am a geek. More importantly, you know that I am DAMN PROUD OF IT. So to say that I enjoy a good Sci-Fi movie would be a bit of an understatement. And to say that I get pissed off when people marginalize Sci-Fi would be like saying Jabba the Hut is a little portly. In English I learned that there are essentially three conflicts in literature: Man vs. Self, Man vs. Nature, and Man vs. Man (or Society). Sci-Fi is briliant because it substitutes one or several of these elements with something reasonably outlandish, yet still somehow conceivable. For instance, Children of Men could be Man vs. Nature, where Nature is the dystopian world where all women are barren. Man vs. Man can become Man vs. Alien/Robot/etc. The outlandish elements serve as stand-ins, and sort of force us to conceptualize the conflict more. It makes us think “How does this apply to me?”

That’s what is so brilliant about District 9. At first glance it’s “Oh, aliens came to Earth and we will fight them.” Then you watch it and it becomes “Oh, aliens came to Earth and we put them in camps and kill their babies.” Then when you think about it, it becomes “Holy crap we put people in camps and kill THEIR babies!” District 9 is based on the real life forced evacuation of District 6 (I think) in South Africa several years ago. Suddenly Prawns are much more than just aliens. They’re living, breathing (I assume), sentient beings, and we treat them worse than animals. This is Sci-Fi done right. P.S. Wickus has a very literal Man vs. Self in this movie too.

4.  Inglourious Basterds

Again, there is so much more to this movie than you would think. My first thought was “Oh joy, a Tarantino film. I can’t wait for all that gore and profanity.” (My feelings for Tarantino are really schizophrenic, by the way. Sometimes I think he’s brilliant, other times I think he’s totally played out, most of the time I just really want to meet the parents that somehow messed this kid up so bad.) But on a friend’s recommendation, I went and saw it. I think a lot of people went in expecting to see Brad Pit et al brutalizing those “damn dirty Nazis.” And I doubt they were disappointed. I would imagine most people who saw the movie seriously judged the Nazi regime for laughing while watching a movie about Jews getting killed, as if they were less than human. I really want to know how many people understood what Tarantino was saying here. “Oh those Nazis! How can they laugh while people get….wait…I’M in a theater, watching a movie about people getting killed in terrible ways. AND I’M LAUGHING.” Seriously brilliant. Somehow, over the course of the last 70 years or so, killing Nazis became a guilt-free past-time.

You see, I love playing zombie games. Why? Because zombies/demons/vampires are already dead/pure evil/dead AND evil. Therefore, I can kill them and feel good about it. But when did Nazis become already dead OR pure evil? This may gall to hear, but Nazis are actually people. Sure, some were bad people. Some were terrible people. Some were just patriots. The vast majority of Nazis were just soldiers who loved their country and signed up to fight for it. So to just kill them and not feel any remorse at all is to say that they are not human. Which is exactly what they said of the Jews. Anyway.

3.  Avatar

Anyone who has heard me talk about this movie is probably shocked it’s only number three on my list. DEAL with it.

First of all, the plot of Avatar. Yes, it may have been what some call “cliche.” I say that there is a really thin line between cliche and archetypal/mythic. I think Avatar is the latter. It’s an idea that resonates within the collective consciousness of society, this unspoken belief many of us feel deep down that life would be better simpler, and that civilization has caused all sorts of problems. Something in us hums to the tune of crossing barriers and finding meaning – and love – with the Other, be it another race, culture, or even species in this case. Furthermore, there is a huge difference between a “generic” plot and a mediocre one. Was Pocahontas mediocre? Or Dances With Wolves? Or the Last Samurai, or Last of the Mohicans? Just because an idea has been used before doesn’t mean it can’t be powerful and well-executed.

Of course, the main aspect of Avatar getting attention is the amazing graphics and 3-D presentation. Stuck up twits claimed that this was the only reason to see the movie. Well. First of all, I chose to watch sections of Avatar without my 3-D glasses, and let me say that it was no less impressive, visually or as a movie. Besides, what is wrong with watching a movie because of beautiful imagery and a well-developed planet? And personally, I believe that if you have any claim to being an afficionado of cinema, you should see Avatar, because I fully believe that it will change movies forever. It may not be quite as drastic a change as the flip from Silent to Sound, or Black and White to Technicolor, but then again you never know. In many ways, Avatar is just a preview of the shape of things to come – both in terms of graphics AND plot. And if you won’t listen to me, listen to Simon Pegg.

“It’s a familiar story but it needs broad mythological strokes to counterpoint the intense visuals. Narrative complexity would self defeat.”

2.  UP

I absolutely adore this movie, both for itself, and my memories concerning it. Without going into too much detail, I’ll just say that any movie that can make a row full of boys choke up deserves major props.

Seriously, this movie is fantastic. Visually, it’s gorgeous. There are plenty of bright colors, but then again there’s quite a bit of darkness and subtlety as well. Plot-wise, wonderful. The story of how a shy boy meets a vibrant, out-going girl, comes out of his shell, falls in love, and then loses her, ultimately becoming a sad and bitter old man would be story enough. But then when he has to come to terms with the loss of his wife, finally divesting himself of everything he had been afraid to let go of? That’s great. Throw in an awkward child from a broken home looking for a father figure – in the form of a man who either lost a child or found out he could never have one – and it becomes endearing, heart-breaking, and beautiful. Musically…flawless. There are whole sequences where there is no dialogue at all, and just the pictures and music tell the story. It’s like watching poetry. To quote Martin Yan, “Beautiful!”

1.  Star Trek

Star Trek has been part of my life for as long as I can remember. I watched The Original Series and The Next Generation all throughout elementary. I absolutely loved TOS, despite/because of the camp. TNG never quite clicked the same way, but I still watched it all the time. I watched Voyager throughout Jr. High, and it was the first one I got really invested in. (Don’t get me wrong, Voyager has lots of issues, but I enjoyed that there was more of a goal. We are lost here, we need to get back there. Sweet.) I watched Enterprise throughout High School, and really liked how ghetto the Enterprise was, that they were scared of transporters, didn’t have force fields, or photon torpedoes. I may or may not have read a few novels. In my defense, I was never like really hard core. I didn’t speak Klingon or anything like that. But it was with me my whole life.

Furthermore, I am obsessed with J.J. Abrams. I mean, except Felicity. But Alias remains one of my favorite shows of all time, as does LOST. I watch Fringe every week, and I thought Cloverfield was awesome. If he gets to do the reboot of Superman, I will flip my stuff. So when I heard he was doing a reboot of Star Trek…feces were flipped.

So yeah, this movie was essentially perfect. At the time of watching it, there was literally NOTHING I would have changed. I thought the casting was largely spot-on, visually it was stunning, and the plot! Oh the plot! They came up with a fantastic way of keeping the old canon intact, while creating a new, continuity free universe that still pays homage to what has come before it in a loving, reverent way. This movie was fun, it was funny, there was action, there was romance, there was tragedy. If you need more than that you are just simply too high maintenance and I pity you.

So there you have my wrap-up of the year in movies, in which the under-appreciated word “Twat” was used, and I discussed what would cause me to lose my feces.

Peace, Love, and Hobbits.

Honorable Mentions

I Love You, Man – I don’t know why I loved this movie as much as I did, but oh well. It was hilarious, it was FAR less vulgar than I would have anticipated, it was oddly touching (especially to a guy who has too many gal-pals as it is), and it NEVER used the word “Bromance.” Awesome.

(500) Days of Summer – Technically I didn’t see it until this year, but I’m still counting it. This was one of the most original, down-to-earth, realistic romance stories I’ve ever seen. Sometimes you find the One, and sometimes you’re just wrong. Again, I related a lot to the protagonist. We both have three-letter names, we both love sweater-vests, we both pine after Zooey Deschanel and other dead-pan girls who like the Smiths, believe in true love, and hate Bull Feces. I loved the dance scene in this movie, the dream/film sequence, the non-linear progression, and the narrator. It reminded me of Amelie and Pushing Daisies, which is a sure-fire way to make me love something. This movie just rang really true to our society, especially the Baylor one where we all care SO much about Fate and Destiny and God dropping the ONE in our laps and allow all our happiness to hinge on that one relationship. So yeah. Brilliant. I will shortly be buying it.

Zombieland – Not just dumb fun! It actually had character development! And character growth, which are two different things. It was hilarious, it was fun, it was guilt-free, and it was actually touching. I love movies where they acknowledge that family is more than blood relation. So yeah.